what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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