So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize