let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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