did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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