did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
