The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
