i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Randomize
