nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
