I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
