What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
