Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
