You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize