I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think my moral compass just broke
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