So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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