so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
