Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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