He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm just crazy horny about you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
