no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
