you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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