She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
