You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
