people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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