He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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