Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just googled if crying burns calories
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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