i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
