sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Will exercising make me less horny?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
