is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
