if i can run in heels then i can drive
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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