so that wasnt chicken after all
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
