my room smells like sperm. sweet.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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