I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
