im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
