You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
