My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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