apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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