Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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