Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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