You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
