it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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