just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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