Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize