i would punch a child for taco bell
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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