my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
