So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize