The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
