none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
