Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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