New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize