you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
