Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
