please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
