she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
