i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
