stop calling my apartment porn island.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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