What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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