Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
