I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
