That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So much rum. So many feels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
