we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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