I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
