What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
