He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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