she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
BRING THE BAGELS
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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