I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
