I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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