She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
