just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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