I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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