i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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