I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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