New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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