apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
