My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
