She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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